• After Tuesday even the calendar goes WTF.
• Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I am tired of solving them for you.
• Whenever I think of quit smoking. I need a cigarette to think.
• Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.
• I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.
• You have to be ‘ODD’ to be number ‘ONE’.
• Phones are better than girlfriends; at least we can switch off.
• I’m not lazy I’m on energy saving mode.
• Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
• Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
• I’m writing a book. I have got the page numbers done.
• The road to success is always under construction.
• Fuck your past, smooch your present and kiss your future.
• If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
• I’m always right. Once I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong.

15 friendship quotes:
• When someone truly cares about you, they make an effort not an excuse.
• Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
• If one day you feeling like crying, call me. I can’t promise to make you laugh but I am willing to cry with you.
• We are not friends; we are strangers of our memories.
• I didn’t find my friends; the good lord gave them to me.
• Stay real, stay loyal or stay away from me.
• Being honest may not give you a lot of friends but it will give the right one.
• Friendship is not a big thing, its a million small things.
• A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you the strength.
• I like you because you joined me on my weirdness.
• We never lose friends. We simply know who the real ones are.
• A true friendship never goes in your way unless you happen to be going down.
• Walking with a friend in dark is better than walking alone in light.
• A single rose can be my garden….a single friend my world.
• Count your age with friends but not with years.