For centuries, etiquette served as an invisible script that dictated how people should act in public and private life. From how to greet elders to how to sit at the dinner table, these unspoken rules were once seen as non-negotiable. To break them was to risk being labeled uncouth or, worse, disrespectful.
Yet, as the world changes, so too do its rules of politeness. What was once the gold standard of good manners can now come across as stiff, unnecessary, or even a little outdated. In modern times, respect is still important, but it is no longer measured in the same way as it was decades ago.
Here are 12 etiquette rules that once carried great weight but now feel like relics of another time.
1. Never Calling Adults by Their First Name
Once upon a time, addressing an adult without a Mr., Mrs., or Miss was almost unthinkable. Parents drilled it into children that using first names was disrespectful, even if the adult insisted otherwise. A teacher, a neighbor, or even a family friend was always “Mr. Smith” or “Mrs. Johnson.”
Fast forward to today, and this strict rule has loosened considerably. In many workplaces and social settings, using first names is not only accepted but expected. It can even make people appear more approachable and less hierarchical.
Children today may casually greet a friend’s parents by their first names without being reprimanded. And in corporate settings, being called “Mr.” or “Mrs.” can sometimes feel more awkward than respectful. While formal titles are still appreciated in certain cultures and professions, they’re no longer universal.
Read more: 9 Powerful Traits That Drive Successful Introverts Without Them Even Realizing It
2. Keeping Your Elbows Off the Table
“Get your elbows off the table!” was a phrase echoed at countless family dinners. The belief was that resting your arms on the table signaled laziness, poor manners, or even lack of refinement.
But in modern times, this rule feels overly rigid. Dining is no longer just about displaying perfect posture—it’s about enjoying food and connection. Today, having your elbows on the table is often seen as a natural way to lean in and engage in conversation.
Unless attending a formal banquet or a fine dining event, few people care whether elbows are present or not. In fact, some etiquette experts now argue that stiff posture can make social settings feel less warm. Relaxed dining, elbows and all, has become the norm.
3. Sending Handwritten Thank-You Notes for Everything
There was an era when failing to send a handwritten thank-you card after receiving a gift was a major faux pas. Families even kept stationery ready for such occasions, and children were taught to write thank-you letters as a duty.
Today, the pace of life has accelerated, and gratitude has taken on new forms. A heartfelt text message, an email, or even a phone call carries the same sincerity without the postage stamp. Handwritten notes are now more of a thoughtful bonus than a social requirement.
Of course, physical notes still hold sentimental charm, especially for weddings or special occasions. But the expectation has softened. Gratitude matters more than the medium in which it’s delivered.
4. Dressing Up for Air Travel
Flying was once a glamorous adventure. Passengers dressed in suits, dresses, and polished shoes as if they were attending a formal gathering in the sky. Air travel was an event, and clothing reflected that sense of prestige.
These days, flying has become more about endurance than elegance. With cramped seats, security lines, and long flights, comfort rules the skies. Travelers now favor leggings, sweatpants, and sneakers over tailored suits.
While some may nostalgically miss the sophistication of past air travel, practicality has won the day. Today, the best airport outfits are less about formality and more about stretch fabrics and layers that make the journey bearable.
5. Answering the Phone Every Time It Rings
In the not-so-distant past, the sound of a ringing phone created urgency. People dashed across rooms to pick up, believing it impolite—or even suspicious—not to answer.
But with the rise of spam calls and the convenience of texting, ignoring calls is practically expected today. Most people screen unknown numbers, and even friends’ calls may go unanswered with the excuse, “Sorry, can we text instead?”
Phone etiquette has shifted from instant response to personal boundaries. Conversations are still important, but they no longer have to happen in real time.
6. Always Bringing a Host Gift
Etiquette manuals once declared that showing up empty-handed to a dinner party was inexcusable. Wine, flowers, or chocolates were considered the bare minimum.
Today, while host gifts are still appreciated, they are no longer universally required. For casual gatherings like game nights or barbecues, most people don’t expect a formal gesture. A genuine “thank you” often feels just as thoughtful.
Of course, in formal situations or overnight stays, a small gift is still a nice touch. But social expectations are much more relaxed, reflecting the casual tone of modern get-togethers.
7. Writing in Cursive
For decades, mastering cursive was considered essential. Elegant loops and flowing signatures were seen as signs of intelligence and refinement. Teachers even graded handwriting, and students were judged on neatness.
Now, typing has replaced handwriting in most daily communication. Many schools no longer teach cursive at all, and younger generations may struggle to read it. While cursive still carries an aesthetic charm, it has shifted from a necessity to a niche skill.
Handwritten signatures still exist, of course, but with the rise of digital signatures and online forms, even that is becoming optional.
Read more: If You Don’t Care What Others Think, Your Home Probably Has These 12 Things In It
8. Waiting to Eat Until Everyone Is Served
Politeness once required that no one took a bite until every plate was placed on the table. The wait was seen as a sign of patience and unity.
But today’s lifestyles are faster and more casual. People often encourage others to eat before food gets cold. While the rule still applies at formal dinners, in everyday situations, it’s no longer expected.
Modern etiquette emphasizes flexibility over strictness—ensuring everyone feels comfortable rather than forcing everyone to follow the same timeline.
9. Covering Your Mouth Every Time You Yawn
Yawning was once treated as a breach of manners, with constant reminders to cover one’s mouth. It was considered crude to yawn openly in front of others.
Now, the rule has softened considerably. While covering your mouth when speaking directly to someone is still polite, few people notice—or care—if a yawn slips out uncovered. With busy schedules and constant fatigue, yawning is seen less as rudeness and more as human nature.
10. Offering Your Seat to Someone Older
In the past, offering a chair to an older person was considered automatic, especially on buses or trains. To fail at this was viewed as disrespectful.
Today, the etiquette is more situational. Some older people prefer to stand, while others may not want to feel singled out. The modern approach is to remain observant and offer a seat only when it seems necessary. Respect now comes from empathy, not strict rules.
11. Men Always Paying for Dates
For decades, men were expected to cover the bill on dates. Splitting the check was uncommon, and a man who didn’t pay risked being labeled ungentlemanly.
Modern dating etiquette has taken a different turn. Many people prefer splitting the bill, alternating payments, or allowing women to pay for themselves. This shift reflects broader cultural changes around equality and independence.
Generosity in dating is no longer about one person footing the bill—it’s about fairness and mutual respect.
12. Avoiding Personal Topics in Conversation
Once, polite conversation meant steering clear of subjects like politics, religion, or money. Social gatherings were supposed to remain light and neutral.
Today, many people are more open to discussing personal or even controversial topics. Social media has normalized sharing opinions, and difficult conversations are seen as opportunities for connection rather than breaches of etiquette.
Of course, timing and tone still matter. A casual brunch may not be the best place for heated debates. But in general, openness and honesty have replaced rigid avoidance.
Read more: People Who Were Raised By Strict Parents Often Develop These 10 Quiet Habits
Final Thought
Etiquette has always evolved alongside society. What was once mandatory can feel out of place in today’s world, not because respect is gone, but because the way people show respect has shifted. Modern manners focus less on rigid rules and more on authenticity, comfort, and consideration for others.
The core principle, however, has never changed: kindness never goes out of style.
