Building real connections with people can feel like navigating a maze in the dark — especially in adulthood, when everyone’s wearing their best “public version” of themselves.
Whether you’re on a first date, sitting across from someone in a job interview, or just chatting with the new neighbor, you might wonder: Can I trust this person? Are they kind? Are they someone I want around in my life’s group chat?
Turns out, there’s a quick mental trick that might help you peek behind the curtain — no mind-reading required.
The Test That Only Takes a Blink
According to confidence coach Laura Eiman, all you need is one question to make a surprisingly accurate snap judgment:
“Does this person want to be right all the time, or do they want to be happy?”
This question, according to Eiman, is more than just a clever icebreaker — it’s a character litmus test. She claims that asking yourself this internally (not out loud!) after a conversation or interaction can offer a surprisingly clear sense of someone’s personality, values, and emotional maturity.
And here’s the kicker — this isn’t a new idea she invented overnight. She’s been using this same filter for decades, and she swears by it.
Meet the Woman Behind the Wisdom
Before dismissing this as feel-good fluff, consider Eiman’s resume. She’s a certified confidence coach, mindset mentor, and — wait for it — a gold medalist in Olympic weightlifting who snagged the title at age 64. Not exactly your average influencer.
On her website, Eiman emphasizes that true confidence doesn’t come from motivational quotes or one-off tips — it’s a mindset transformation. “Most coaches don’t teach mindset,” she writes. “It’s hard and time-consuming.” But for Eiman, this one-question test is part of that deeper work: learning to observe behavior with clarity, not just emotion.
She’s also grown a loyal following on TikTok under the handle @confidencecoachforwomen, where her blend of life experience, psychology, and no-nonsense advice has resonated with over 120,000 followers.
Breaking Down the Question: Right vs. Happy
So why this question, exactly? Because, according to Eiman, how someone handles being wrong is one of the clearest indicators of their emotional intelligence.
❌ If they always need to be right…
- They may be defensive, rigid, and insecure.
- They might struggle to admit mistakes or accept feedback.
- They’re more likely to blame others when things go sideways — think of the classic “It’s not me, it’s you” energy.
People like this often dominate conversations, escalate disagreements, and twist logic just to avoid looking foolish. They’re exhausting. Not necessarily evil — just difficult to connect with on a deep or equal level.
Psychologists call this “deflection” or “externalizing blame,” and it’s a common trait in people with narcissistic or fragile personalities. It’s not always malicious, but it can definitely be harmful — especially in close relationships.
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✅ If they want to be happy…
- They’re usually more flexible, curious, and peace-seeking.
- They’re willing to admit mistakes and listen to other perspectives.
- They tend to prioritize connection over control.
In short, they value growth over ego. They’re not just tolerable — they’re often delightful.
And that’s the key. In a world full of complicated personalities, this test helps you sort people into categories that impact your emotional well-being, not just your social calendar.
Science Sides with Simplicity (Sometimes)
You might wonder: Can such a simple test really hold up in the real world?
Actually, yes — to an extent.
According to Psychology Today, people who insist on being right all the time are often skilled in the “blame game.” Licensed counselor Jamie Cannon explains that these individuals tend to avoid responsibility and are quick to shift fault. In emotionally charged moments, this dynamic can erode trust and intimacy over time.
And if you’ve ever been in a never-ending argument with someone who had to have the last word? You already know how draining that can be.
Another expert, Dr. Karyl McBride, adds a layer of compassion. In her view, people obsessed with being right often do so as a defense mechanism. It’s how they protect themselves from feelings of insecurity, shame, or low self-worth. So while their behavior might be frustrating, it often stems from internal wounds — not pure arrogance.
Still, while empathy is important, it doesn’t mean you have to make those folks your inner circle.
Read more: Your Breathing Patterns Are As Unique As Your Fingerprints, Scientists Find
Internet Reactions: A Digital Tug-of-War
As with most viral TikTok advice, the internet had thoughts. When Eiman posted her one-question character test, her comments section quickly filled with both cheerleaders and critics.
Some viewers were skeptical:
- “Kind of a broad assumption.”
- “I wanna be happy, but I’m only happy when I’m right.”
- “I stay away from both — it’s impossible to do either!”
Others chimed in with praise:
- “She’s on point!”
- “This is actually helpful — thank you!”
- “Thanks for the newfound way of making friends.”
This divide shows something crucial: While not everyone agrees with the black-and-white framing, the question itself invites self-reflection. That alone makes it useful.
The Fine Print: When Snap Judgments Can Backfire
Eiman’s test is helpful, but like all psychological shortcuts, it’s not foolproof. People are layered. Someone who comes off as “needing to be right” might just be having a bad day. Or maybe their culture, upbringing, or profession taught them that appearing confident (read: always right) is a survival skill.
Similarly, people who seem “happy-go-lucky” on the surface might be masking deeper issues. Charm doesn’t always equal character.
That’s why it’s important to use this test as a starting point — not the whole decision-making manual.
Think of it like sniffing the milk before pouring it into your coffee. It’s not a full health inspection, but it gives you a heads-up before diving in.
How to Actually Use This in Your Life
Here’s where the magic of Eiman’s trick shines. Try this mental test in real-life scenarios like:
- First dates — Do they let you speak? Do they joke about “winning” the conversation?
- Job interviews — Does the hiring manager show curiosity or condescension?
- Friendships — Do they correct you constantly? Or brush off small differences?
When you apply this question mindfully, you’ll start noticing patterns. And over time, it sharpens your radar for emotionally healthy people — the ones who make your life lighter, not heavier.
Read more: Parents Who Make This Mistake Raise ‘Mentally Weak Children,’ Says Psychiatrist
Final Thought: Trust the Question, Not Just the Answer
In a noisy world of hot takes, viral advice, and digital masks, Laura Eiman’s one-question test offers a moment of clarity. It might not tell you everything about someone, but it might tell you enough — enough to know whether to lean in, step back, or proceed with caution.
So next time you’re wondering if someone is worth your emotional investment, don’t overthink it. Just ask yourself:
“Do they need to be right… or do they want to be happy?”
Then listen — not just to them, but to your gut.
