Something curious tends to happen around the age of 30. It’s not a sudden change, but more like a quiet, steady shedding of expectations. You stop saying “yes” to things that make you uncomfortable. You stop trying to impress people who wouldn’t notice either way. You don’t feel the need to smile through discomfort, fake laughs, or squeeze yourself—literally or emotionally—into things that no longer fit.
The thirties are where many women report discovering something revolutionary: the joy of being done. Done with pleasing everyone. Done with saying “it’s fine” when it’s not. Done with pretending.
Women were asked what they’ve stopped pretending to enjoy now that they’re 30+. The answers were refreshing, unapologetic, and a little hilarious. Here are 20 of the most resonant ones:
1. Clubbing in High Heels
Remember those nights of teetering around in six-inch stilettos on sticky dance floors, only to come home with blisters and regrets? Yeah, that phase is over.
The new version of a night out? Flat shoes, breathable fabrics, good lighting, and ideally a soft couch involved. If you can hear yourself talk and get home before midnight, it’s basically perfect. Bonus points if you’re in slippers and a face mask by 10:00 p.m. Heels now live in the back of the closet—next to your tolerance for overpriced cocktails.
2. Small Talk with People You’ll Never See Again
You know those surface-level conversations where you nod politely while someone describes their dog’s gluten allergy? Those used to be a social requirement. Now, not so much.
The truth is, your time and energy are precious. You no longer feel guilty about gracefully excusing yourself from conversations that don’t lead anywhere meaningful. Real connection or nothing—that’s the new standard.
3. Being the “Chill Girl” Who Never Speaks Up
Being low-maintenance used to mean staying silent about your needs, fears, or frustrations. But these days, being “chill” feels suspiciously close to being invisible.
Now, you speak up. You say what you mean—even if it ruffles feathers. And surprisingly, you’re not losing people; you’re just filtering out the ones who never really listened.
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4. Enduring Bad Dates Out of Politeness
In your twenties, sitting through awkward dinners felt like some kind of romantic rite of passage. You’d nod through mismatched conversations, thinking, “Maybe he’ll get funnier by dessert.”
Now? One drink in and you can tell if the vibe’s off. No hard feelings—just a polite goodbye, a deep breath, and maybe sushi takeout on the way home. Your time is valuable, and you’re not spending it waiting for someone to become interesting.
5. Shaving Your Whole Body for One Outfit
There was a time you’d practically exfoliate yourself into oblivion just to wear a sleeveless mini-dress. Now, if an outfit demands you schedule a full-body grooming session, it’s not making the cut.
You’re trading razors and irritation for soft pants and self-acceptance. A little fuzz isn’t the end of the world—honestly, it’s just skin. Why stress over something you’re not even zooming in on?
6. Keeping Friendships That Feel One-Sided
Some friendships are like old sweaters—nostalgic, but no longer comfortable. That high school friend who only calls when she needs something? That colleague who always leaves you emotionally drained? You’re done.
Instead, you’re choosing people who energize you, celebrate your wins, and accept your growth. Smaller circle, deeper roots.
7. Wearing Trends That Don’t Suit You
Gone are the days of squeezing into fashion trends that never flattered your body type or matched your style. Those low-rise jeans, neon crop tops, or sky-high platforms? Hard pass.
You’re dressing for you now. Comfort, color, texture—whatever makes you feel grounded and confident. The world can keep its seasonal must-haves. Your wardrobe now sparks joy and actually fits.
8. Acting Like You Don’t Care When You Do
Feigning indifference used to feel cool. But now, indifference just feels fake. If you care about something, you say so. Whether it’s your career, your relationship, or your Netflix password being shared—your feelings matter.
Expressing emotion is no longer embarrassing. It’s a sign of clarity and maturity.
9. Going Out Just Because You Were Invited
Once upon a time, turning down an invitation felt like a social crime. You’d drag yourself to events you weren’t excited about just to avoid being labeled flaky.
Now, you don’t go unless you truly want to. And guess what? The world keeps turning. You’re discovering that JOMO (joy of missing out) is far superior to FOMO.
10. Explaining Your Life Choices to Everyone
“Why aren’t you married?” “When are you having kids?” These questions used to sting. Now, they mostly just inspire a polite smile and a swift subject change.
You no longer feel obligated to defend your timeline. Your choices—whether traditional or not—are nobody’s business unless they’re contributing to your rent.
11. Using Makeup as Armor
You once wouldn’t be caught dead outside without full glam. Now, a swipe of SPF and a little brow gel is plenty. You’ve learned that you don’t need contour to look like you belong.
Letting your natural face take center stage has been freeing—and that dewy skincare glow? Priceless.
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12. Accepting Lazy Love
No more waiting around for inconsistent texts or “maybe next week” promises. You’re no longer keeping someone on your calendar who barely keeps you on theirs.
You want love that’s clear, consistent, and reciprocated. Anything less? You’d rather fly solo.
13. Faking Interest in Crypto and Fantasy Football
You’ve tried to keep up with blockchain buzzwords and sports stats, but let’s face it—it’s not your jam. Nodding along to jargon you don’t care about? Exhausting.
Now, you guide conversations toward things you actually enjoy: books, travel, food, or the latest mystery docuseries. Life is too short for dull dialogue.
14. Bragging About Burnout
Running on fumes used to feel like a badge of honor. If you weren’t multitasking three jobs while spinning plates and answering emails at midnight, were you even trying?
Now, rest is the flex. You understand that being well-rested is a superpower, not a sign of slacking off. Naps? Glorious. Saying “no” to hustle culture? Empowering.
15. Chasing Validation from Everyone Else
The likes, retweets, and gold stars that once felt so important now seem… unnecessary. You’re learning to clap for yourself in quiet moments, without needing a crowd.
Self-worth isn’t a popularity contest anymore—it’s a private agreement between you and your mirror.
16. Settling for Subpar Intimacy
Saying “it’s fine” when it wasn’t? That’s over. These days, you’re more in tune with your body and unafraid to speak up in the bedroom.
Communication isn’t awkward—it’s necessary. Your needs aren’t a problem to solve; they’re an invitation to deeper connection.
17. Buying Things Just Because They’re on Sale
That clearance rack used to be irresistible. But now, you know that a cheap dress you’ll never wear is still a waste of money.
You’ve become more intentional with your purchases. If it doesn’t fit well, spark joy, or earn a spot in your rotation, it stays on the shelf.
18. Saying “Yes” When You Feel a “No”
That gut feeling? It’s not just background noise—it’s your internal compass. And you’ve started listening to it without guilt.
You no longer feel bad for turning things down, even if others don’t understand. You trust yourself, and that’s enough.
19. Keeping the Peace at Your Own Expense
Keeping quiet to avoid conflict used to feel like the “nice” thing to do. But now, you understand that peace without honesty isn’t real peace.
You speak up—not to stir trouble, but to stand in your truth. If that makes waves, so be it.
Read more: The One Phrase That Will Instantly Get Kids to Listen—Without Yelling: Experts
20. Apologizing for Taking Up Space
You’ve spent enough time shrinking yourself—literally, emotionally, professionally. No more.
You’ve earned your space, and you fill it unapologetically. Whether you’re speaking in a meeting or laughing too loud at brunch, you no longer feel the need to say “sorry for being me.”
Final Thoughts
Letting go isn’t giving up—it’s growing up. Turning 30 doesn’t mean you suddenly stop caring. It means you start caring about the right things—your peace, your joy, your body, your voice.
You’re not bitter. You’re just better at protecting your energy. So here’s to the women choosing authenticity over approval, rest over hustle, and peace over pretense.
If you’ve stopped pretending, congratulations. You’re not difficult. You’re just finally being real—and it looks good on you.
