Many people know the feeling. A difficult conversation with someone can drain your energy and leave you feeling tense long after the interaction ends. While these moments may seem temporary, scientists are beginning to understand that repeated exposure to stressful relationships may do more than affect mood. Over time, it could influence physical health and even the speed at which the body ages.
Recent research suggests that people who regularly deal with challenging individuals in their social circles may experience slightly faster biological aging. The study, supported by the National Institute on Aging and published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, explores how certain relationships can become ongoing sources of stress that may gradually affect the body.
The researchers used a simple term for these individuals. They called them “hasslers,” referring to people who tend to create tension, complications, or emotional strain in everyday life. While the word may sound casual, the impact of these interactions can be surprisingly significant when they occur repeatedly over time.
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How Relationships Shape Health
Scientists have long known that strong relationships can help people live longer and healthier lives. Supportive friendships, family bonds, and community connections often provide emotional comfort, practical help, and a sense of belonging. These benefits extend far beyond feelings of happiness. Studies have shown that strong social networks can reduce the risk of cognitive decline, lower mortality rates, and support overall well being.
However, not every relationship offers these benefits. Some connections provide both comfort and conflict, while others can become consistent sources of tension. According to sociologist Byungkyu Lee of New York University, the lead author of the study, relationships exist along a wide spectrum. Some people in our lives lift us up, while others create pressure or stress.
Certain relationships may fall into what researchers call an ambivalent category. These connections bring both positive and negative experiences. A friend may provide support during difficult times but also create arguments or emotional strain. Other relationships may lean heavily toward stress, offering little relief from conflict.
Understanding Biological Aging
Aging is often measured in years. Each birthday marks another step forward on the calendar. Yet scientists also study aging from another perspective known as biological aging.
Biological aging refers to changes that occur within cells and tissues over time. These changes do not always move at the same pace as chronological age. Two people who are the same age may have bodies that appear younger or older depending on lifestyle, stress levels, and environmental factors.
Researchers can measure biological aging through specific biomarkers found in DNA. These markers provide clues about how quickly cells are aging and how the body is responding to stress or environmental influences.
Measuring Stressful Social Connections
Participants described the people in their lives and identified those who frequently created tension or made life more challenging. They answered questions about how often these individuals caused problems or added stress to everyday situations. In addition, participants rated their overall health and provided saliva samples for DNA analysis.
The saliva samples allowed researchers to examine specific patterns in DNA that are associated with biological aging. By comparing these biomarkers with the participants’ reports of difficult relationships, the team could explore whether social stress was connected to changes at the cellular level.
The results revealed a small but noticeable pattern. Each additional “hassler” in a person’s social network was associated with a slight increase in the pace of biological aging.
To understand what that means in practical terms, imagine aging as a clock that normally advances one biological year for every calendar year. According to the study’s findings, someone who regularly interacts with an additional difficult person might age about 1.015 biological years during that same period. The difference may appear minor at first glance, yet researchers emphasize that small shifts can accumulate over time.
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Important Limits of the Study
Although the findings are intriguing, the researchers are careful to point out that the study does not prove a direct cause and effect relationship. The results show an association between difficult relationships and faster biological aging, but they cannot confirm that one directly causes the other.
There are many factors that influence health and aging, including genetics, lifestyle habits, income level, access to healthcare, and early life experiences. Social stress may be one piece of a much larger puzzle.
Even so, the findings add to a growing body of evidence showing that emotional experiences and social environments can influence physical health in measurable ways.
Why Some People Report More Difficult Relationships
Another interesting aspect of the research involved identifying which individuals were more likely to report having difficult people in their lives.
The study found that women tended to report more “hasslers” in their social networks than men. Sociologists say this finding aligns with previous research showing that women often experience relationships in a more emotionally engaged way.
Women are frequently more attuned to the emotional needs and problems of others. This sensitivity can be a strength that supports strong connections and empathy. At the same time, it may also mean that women are more likely to feel the emotional strain that comes from conflicts or stressful interactions.
Debra Umberson, a sociology professor who studies aging and relationships, explains that women often experience both the positive and negative sides of relationships more intensely. They may notice emotional tensions more readily and feel a greater responsibility to respond to the needs of others.
The Role of Family and Daily Interactions
Interestingly, many of the difficult relationships identified in the study involved family members. Parents and children were especially likely to appear on participants’ lists of challenging connections.
Family relationships often involve deep emotional ties, shared history, and a sense of obligation that makes them difficult to avoid. These bonds can be incredibly meaningful, yet they may also carry unresolved tensions or recurring disagreements.
Outside the family circle, participants frequently identified coworkers, roommates, and neighbors as sources of stress. These relationships often involve shared spaces or responsibilities, which can increase the likelihood of conflict.
Friendships, in contrast, were less frequently described as difficult. One reason may be that friendships usually offer greater flexibility. When tension develops, individuals often have more freedom to step back or create distance.
Protecting Your Well Being
Given that difficult relationships are a normal part of life, the question becomes how people can protect their well being while still maintaining meaningful connections.
The most straightforward solution may seem obvious. Reducing contact with individuals who consistently create stress can improve emotional health. However, this choice is not always simple. Many challenging relationships involve family members, coworkers, or others who remain present in daily life.
In these cases, experts suggest focusing on healthy boundaries. Boundaries involve deciding how much time, energy, and emotional effort to invest in certain relationships. Recognizing when an interaction becomes draining can help individuals step back before stress builds to overwhelming levels.
Therapy or counseling can also provide helpful tools for navigating difficult relationships. Professional guidance may help individuals communicate more effectively, manage conflict, and develop strategies for protecting emotional health.
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A Balanced Social Life
Every relationship contains moments of frustration. Disagreements and misunderstandings are natural parts of human interaction. Yet when certain relationships create ongoing stress without meaningful support in return, they may gradually affect both emotional and physical health.
The new research offers a reminder that social environments matter in ways that extend beyond daily feelings. The people who surround us can influence how we experience stress, how we cope with challenges, and perhaps even how our bodies age over time.
At the same time, the findings reinforce a hopeful message. By nurturing supportive relationships and setting thoughtful boundaries with difficult ones, individuals may create a social environment that supports both emotional balance and long term health.
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