We’ve all been there: staring down a pile of clutter that seems to grow overnight. That one drawer stuffed with expired coupons, paperclips, and random keys? The box in the corner of your room filled with office supplies from a job you left years ago? Or maybe the leaning tower of unread mail you keep moving from desk to kitchen table and back again?
On TikTok, this mess has a name that instantly clicked with people: the DOOM pile. The acronym stands for “didn’t organize, only moved.” Instead of putting things where they belong, we shuffle them into one spot for “later.” The problem is, later rarely comes.
For many people—especially those with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)—these piles quickly grow into overwhelming monuments of postponed decisions. And when the stress becomes unbearable, a surprising but common coping strategy emerges: tossing everything out.
But why does tossing feel so satisfying? Why is it linked with ADHD? And how can people manage the habit without accidentally throwing away their passport, tax documents, or family photos? Let’s dig deeper.
What Exactly Is “Tossing”?
“Tossing” is exactly what it sounds like—clearing clutter by sweeping it straight into the trash or donation bin, no sorting required. It’s less about organization and more about escape. Instead of deciding where something belongs, whether it’s useful, or if it should be saved, the decision is simplified to one swift motion: out it goes.
While tossing can be a quick way to reclaim space, it’s not always practical. Sometimes important items get lost in the purge. But for people with ADHD, tossing isn’t about laziness—it’s about managing mental overload.
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The ADHD–Clutter Connection
Cate Osborn, ADHD advocate and podcaster known online as Catieosaurus, openly shares her own experience with tossing. She describes how it usually starts innocently enough. She tries to tidy her desk but ends up with items that don’t have a clear home—stray cords, notebooks, or keepsakes. Into a box they go.
At first, the plan is to revisit the box later. But then the cycle begins:
- Out of sight, out of mind – The box is forgotten.
- Rediscovery at the worst time – When she does notice it again, she’s in the middle of another task.
- Delay and avoidance – The box gets pushed aside yet again.
- Decision paralysis – By the time she finally faces it, the sheer number of choices (“Do I keep this? What if I need it?”) makes her freeze.
- Tossing – At last, she clears it out in one sweep, usually dropping it off at a donation center.
“It’s not that I don’t care,” Osborn explains. “It’s that sometimes the clutter feels like hundreds of tiny tasks I don’t have the time, energy, or focus to deal with. Tossing feels like hitting the reset button.”
Why Tossing Feels Like a Relief
Psychologist Madison Perry describes tossing as the mental equivalent of closing all your internet tabs at once. Risky? Sure. But freeing? Absolutely.
“People with ADHD often have too many mental tabs open,” Perry says. “Each item in a pile is another tab waiting for attention. Tossing removes that item from the mental to-do list.”
The relief can feel immediate—like a deep breath after holding it for too long. For someone living with ADHD, whose brain is already juggling deadlines, sensory input, and forgotten appointments, clearing clutter in one bold move can feel like reclaiming control.
But here’s the catch: while tossing provides short-term calm, it doesn’t build long-term skills. And sometimes, in the frenzy to declutter, important things vanish too—medical forms, tax documents, or sentimental items.
The Psychology Behind Tossing
Psychotherapist Oliver Drakeford explains that tossing is closely tied to executive dysfunction—a common ADHD challenge where the brain struggles to start tasks, prioritize them, and finish them.
“When clutter builds up, it creates a storm of uncertainty,” Drakeford says. “The brain feels overstimulated, and tossing becomes a way to escape those feelings instantly.”
There’s also another psychological concept at play: experiential avoidance. This is when people sidestep uncomfortable feelings—stress, anxiety, guilt—by avoiding the situation altogether. Tossing works like a shortcut. Instead of feeling anxious about the mess, the mess disappears.
“It creates the illusion of a blank slate,” Drakeford explains. “And that feels soothing, even if the deeper issues remain.”
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When Tossing Becomes a Problem
For many, tossing is harmless or even helpful. But it can become problematic when:
- Important documents disappear (like bills, medical forms, or work files).
- Sentimental items vanish before there’s a chance to appreciate or store them.
- The cycle repeats endlessly, leaving someone feeling powerless over their environment.
Instead of a solution, tossing turns into a Band-Aid. It covers up stress temporarily but doesn’t teach strategies for managing clutter in the long run.
Healthier Alternatives to Tossing
The good news? There are ways to manage clutter without falling into the tossing trap. ADHD experts suggest the following:
1. Identify Your “Why”
Before you toss, pause. Are you feeling anxious, stressed, or overstimulated? Recognizing your emotional state helps you make a choice that’s mindful, not just automatic.
2. Use the “10 Things Game”
Break the task into bite-sized chunks. Instead of clearing an entire box, choose 10 items to sort. That’s it. If it feels manageable, repeat. This shrinks a mountain into pebbles.
3. Follow the Two-Minute Rule
If something takes less than two minutes—like putting a spoon in the dishwasher or recycling junk mail—do it immediately. Tiny wins add up and prevent new DOOM piles from forming.
4. Set Boundaries on Tossing
Some things absolutely should go—spoiled food, broken gadgets, packaging. But for everything else, consider donation, digitization (scanning papers), or designated storage.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Osborn stresses that ADHD is not about laziness. “To the ADHD brain, what looks like one step is actually hundreds of smaller tasks,” she explains. Tossing often happens when someone reaches the end of their mental rope—not because they don’t care.
Building Better Strategies
Living with ADHD means learning how to work with the brain, not against it. Organization doesn’t have to look like color-coded binders or Pinterest-perfect closets. It can be as simple as:
- Clear bins with labels instead of hidden boxes.
- A single “inbox” tray for papers, sorted once a week.
- Digital reminders to tackle small chunks of clutter.
- Support from friends, therapists, or ADHD coaches.
These strategies help reduce the pressure that leads to tossing in the first place.
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The Bigger Picture
Tossing highlights a deeper truth: ADHD isn’t just about being “distracted.” It’s about how the brain processes information, decisions, and emotions differently. What looks like a messy desk or overflowing drawer to one person can feel like an insurmountable wall to another.
And while tossing may provide quick relief, it’s not a permanent fix. The real work lies in building compassion, learning new strategies, and understanding that ADHD brains require different tools—not harsher criticism.
Featured image: Freepik.
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