Let’s face it—we all want to believe the people around us are genuine. That they mean what they say, care how we feel, and aren’t secretly wearing some emotional mask. But unfortunately, not everyone is as sincere as we’d like to think.
The tricky part? Phony people are usually very good at sounding charming, polite, and trustworthy. But if you listen closely, certain phrases they use can be little red flags in disguise—subtle signs that what they’re saying doesn’t match who they really are.
Here are 11 things that truly insincere people tend to say a lot—and what those phrases might really mean.
1. “No offense, but…”
Translation: Brace yourself—I’m about to say something offensive.
When someone leads with “no offense,” it’s often followed by something that definitely is offensive. It’s like they’re handing you a pre-apology so they can dodge responsibility for what they’re about to say.
This phrase tries to sugarcoat criticism, but it ends up being more of a passive-aggressive jab than helpful feedback. If someone was genuinely trying to help, they’d be thoughtful—not hiding insults under fake politeness.
2. “I’m just being honest.”
Translation: Don’t get mad—I’m going to say something harsh and call it ‘truth.’
People who constantly say this aren’t usually being honest—they’re being rude. They use this phrase like a hall pass for bad behavior, as if being blunt automatically makes their words noble.
Real honesty doesn’t come with a side of cruelty. If someone regularly serves up “truth bombs” with no concern for your feelings, it’s probably more about their ego than your growth.
3. “Trust me—I never lie.”
Translation: I lie. A lot.
Genuine people don’t need to announce how honest they are—they show it through their actions. So when someone goes out of their way to say they never lie, it often means they’re trying to convince you of something that deep down even they don’t believe.
Overemphasizing honesty is a common manipulation tactic, meant to get you to let your guard down.
Read more: The 3-10s Rule Helps Emotionally Intelligent People Navigate Stressful Moments Wisely
4. “I hate drama.”
Translation: I am usually the one creating it.
Ironically, the people who declare their hatred of drama tend to be the ones constantly surrounded by it. Sure, they say they can’t stand chaos—but they often gossip, stir up conflict, and somehow always end up at the center of it.
People who truly dislike drama don’t talk about it—they just avoid it.
5. “I don’t usually say this, but…”
Translation: I say this kind of thing more often than I’d like to admit.
This phrase is a setup. It makes the speaker seem hesitant or reluctant, as if what they’re about to say is so out of character. But chances are, it’s not.
In truth, this “qualifier” is often a disguise—one that softens the blow of a hurtful or gossipy remark. It gives the illusion of authenticity, but what it usually signals is practiced dishonesty.
6. “I’m always right.”
Translation: Don’t bother challenging me—I’m not here to listen.
This one’s a dead giveaway. When someone claims they’re always right, what they’re really saying is that they don’t have room for growth—or for your opinion.
It’s a red flag for a lack of intellectual humility. People who are truly confident in what they know don’t mind being wrong once in a while. Phony people, on the other hand, treat every disagreement like a personal attack.
7. “I’m not like everyone else.”
Translation: I want you to think I’m special—but this line is straight from the playbook.
This phrase is meant to make you feel like you’re connecting with someone extraordinary. But in reality, it’s often used to build quick trust—especially by people who are hiding something.
It’s the kind of thing someone says when they want you to overlook red flags. If someone tells you they’re one of a kind, let their actions prove it first.
Read more: If These Everyday Situations Don’t Bother You, You Were Clearly Raised Right
8. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Translation: Let’s focus on my intentions—not the fact that I hurt you.
This phrase can sound caring, but it often misses the mark. It shifts the focus away from what actually happened (you got hurt) and places it on what they meant to do (supposedly nothing harmful).
Rather than taking responsibility, this line allows phony people to dodge accountability while still seeming empathetic. True apologies don’t tiptoe around blame—they face it directly.
9. “Don’t take everything so personally.”
Translation: I said something hurtful, and now I’m blaming you for reacting to it.
If you’ve ever been told this after expressing hurt, you know how invalidating it can feel. It’s a common tactic used to minimize your feelings and make you doubt your own emotional reactions.
It turns the spotlight away from what they said and shines it on how you responded. Suddenly, you’re the problem for being “too sensitive,” rather than them owning up to being insensitive.
10. “I didn’t say that.”
Translation: Let me rewrite the past to make myself look better.
This is classic gaslighting. When someone denies saying something they clearly did, it makes you question your own memory and instincts.
It’s more than just a simple lie—it’s a way of controlling the narrative and keeping you off balance. If this happens repeatedly, it’s a major red flag. Trust your gut.
11. “Just to play devil’s advocate…”
Translation: I’m about to disagree with you for the sake of it—because I enjoy pushing buttons.
Sure, sometimes playing devil’s advocate can be a healthy way to explore different viewpoints. But when someone always plays this card, it usually means they’re more interested in stirring debate than having a real conversation.
Phony people often use this phrase to mask close-mindedness. It lets them question your beliefs without revealing their true motives—whether that’s control, superiority, or just being contrary for fun.
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Final Thoughts
Everyone says the occasional awkward or canned phrase, and not every slip means someone’s being fake. But when certain patterns start to appear—and especially when they come with a side of manipulation, blame-shifting, or insincerity—it’s worth paying attention.
Genuine connection is built on trust, openness, and a willingness to grow. If someone’s words are all polish and no substance, you may just be dealing with someone who’s more performance than person.
Trust your instincts. And if something feels off—it probably is.
